“Looks like it hurts”

For future reference: A list of things NOT to say to a pregnant Woman

(Photo creds-Pinterest)

SO! Ladies, haha! We have all been there. 9 months pregnant, huge, hot, in pain, hormonal AF and ready to not be pregnant anymore. At this point we are ready to tattoo the due date, name and gender (or if it’s a secret) of our baby on our foreheads because we have answered this question 3459769309 times over.

I got together with some of my friends and my sister, Kara and we broke down all things NOT to say to a pregnant woman. (from experience!)

  1. “Your STILL pregnant?” Yeah, it takes 40 weeks (sometimes more for the poor souls who go overdue) to make a baby. Your still asking dumb questions?
  2. “Can I touch your stomach?” Does this look like a petting Zoo? This is my dance space, that’s your dance space. #howaboutNO
  3. “You look ready to POP!” If we simply “popped” a baby out, it wouldn’t be recognized as the worst pain a woman will ever endure. Phone-a-friend for a new choice word hunny.
  4. “The summer heat must be terrible for you!?” No its great, I love sweating from every crease of my body while carrying an extra 50 pounds pushing directly on my vagina/bladder.
  5. “Can you see your feet?” No, but you will feel my foot in your ass if you don’t just walk away.
  6. “I bet you would love a cocktail!” (while sipping one in front of you) #youdontneedit #youdontneedit #INEEDIT
  7. “You’re going to poop while you’re pushing.” I’ll be sure to let you know if I do or not…….
  8. “You look like you swallowed a watermelon!” Nope, just ate an entire watermelon in .6 seconds. What now?
  9. “I think pregnant women are so attractive.” I hate men, that includes you.
  10. “Does it hurt to walk?” Does it hurt to be quiet?
  11. “Well, looks like the baby will have enough milk!” My eyes are up here….
  12. “Do you have to go right back to work?” Do you think any pregnant woman alive wants to talk about how they have to leave their new baby shortly after giving birth? Thats a NO.
  13. “You look so tired.” I’m growing a human…This isn’t a vacation.
  14. “Yeah, you got the good ol’ pregnancy nose!” Talking about how a pregnant woman looks is asking to get curb stomped.
  15. “Labor was the worst pain I’ve ever felt!” YEAH I CANT WAIT TO FEEL IT #thanksforthereminder
  16. “Good Luck!” Are you doubting me?
  17. “Are you going to have an Au natural labor?” Remind me again how any of this is your business? #judgementalcity
  18. “Your so swollen!” Captain obvious over here….
  19. “Are you sure there is only one baby in there?” Want to take a quick look up there and see for yourself? Double dog dare ya…
  20. “You don’t look pregnant at all!” Again, don’t critique how a woman looks while she’s pregnant unless you want to get curb stomped.
  21. “I bet your hungry” I bet your right!
  22. “Are you married?” Welcome to 2018 my dear…
  23. “You can’t have any pain medication? That sucks!” Find the nearest cliff and jump off it please, thank you!
  24. “Do you know what you’re having? When are you due? Whats the name?” ON REPEAT 24/7–at this point you just blank stare and smile into the depth of their soul.

 

So there you have it! This short but beneficial list of just a FEW questions not to ask or say to a pregnant woman. Store this in your memory bank–don’t be that person!

 

OH! Real quick!

The top question NOT to ask any woman unless it is totally OBVIOUS:

  1. Are you pregnant?

 

You’re welcome…….

%d bloggers like this: